Okay, what I’m going to say is purely what I feel and observe so far about you and your tumblr, your posts and reblogs etc and I do hope that I don’t insult you or make you mad especially since I know it’s only about 7am local time and you’ve just started fasting for today.

From what I see, you had high hopes about the relationship and you guys might have been close when you guys were together. You were happy in the relationship and I’m also guessing that maybe some of Taylor Swifts song might also contribute to your overall happiness and belief about the relationship and I’m guessing he might have said ‘together forever’ or something along the line didn’t he? And I’m guessing, along the way, he started changing into a different person, he changed into someone you thought he wouldn’t be. 

I’m sorry if it made you feel insulted or offensive. It’s just that, you showed signs of broken dreams and broken promises. From your posts, I see that you really had a lot of hopes for the relationship and when he started changing, you felt terrible. You felt like perhaps the whole relationship was some sort of lie because if he really did meant those 3 words, he wouldn’t have left you in the first place. How could anyone say something like those 3 words if they didn’t mean it in the first place? Right? And I’m guessing that listening to Taylor Swift made you feel angry? Angry probably not the correct word but you get what I mean. Because most of her songs are about love and she made it sound so simple and easy and like a fairy tale. But it wasn’t didn’t it? You’re afraid of being vulnerable don’t you? Afraid that you’ll repeat the same cycle of high hopes and broken dreams. You don’t want to feel broken again don’t you?

I am really sorry if it comes out offensive to you, I know that I do not know you and I don’t have the right to judge you, but that’s just what I see and feel from some of the posts. It’s just that, you remind me a lot of myself in my first relationship. Have a good day Nadiah, and Good morning :)

Sigh.

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I don’t mind retaking certain subjects but I do mind disappointing my parents asdfghjkl

I know I’m gonna retake 3-4 subject SIGH.

To someone dearest to me,

when I first met you, I couldn’t imagine how important you’ll be to me. You stepped into my life in a time when I needed someone to help me get back to my feet the most. I remembered the times when you’d talk to me to help me get over my previous girlfriend, my so called first love. I remembered you calling me on my handphone just to ask me if I’m okay. I remembered you webcamming with me on purpose despite my objections just so that I won’t cry. And you made me forget all about her and maybe to some extent even made me hate her.

Today’s date is 10th of December 2010. If we were still together,at exactly 11:15PM it would be our 5 months together. I remembered sitting at the park bench with you and asking you to be me mine on this day. The words.. the feelings..the memories, everything is still fresh in my mind. 

A few days back, I told you to come to my tumblr on this day. I couldn’t tell you much at that time only that I really need you to go here. I hope you’re still reading this because there’s some things I hope to say to you.

I’m happy for you. I’m happy for you guys. I’m happy that you’re with him. Though I might not show it, I really am. You’re someone special and I guess you deserve someone who could treat you well, someone who can treat you better than what I’m capable of. Someone who could be your bestfriend and also your lover. Something that I know I can never be. I hope he knows how lucky he is to be with you. I hope he treats you well. 

Please don’t think ill of me. I know how I acted after we broke up but it’s hard to let go of someone who means a lot to you. You’re the only person who’ve treated me right and I just can’t simply let go of you just like that. I don’t want to live with the regret of letting go of someone importantly so easily. 

I hope you guys have a happy relationship. A better relationship than what you had with me. And I hope he knows how lucky he is to be with you.

Hi there,

I hope life is treating you well. There are something that I wished that I can tell you but I can’t. I miss you. A lot. You are the face that I always search for in a crowded place. Every time I see a girl with long hair, or hair tied just like you, the first thought that always come to my mine is, ‘is that girl you?’ and most of the time I’m disappointed. Every time I hear my phone ring, I hope it’s a call or a message from you. But as usual, it’s not. I’ve tried to move on but it seems that I keep falling back to you. I know what you said, but I just can’t do it. I’m sorry. I’d do anything to make things right between us, if you give me a chance again. You’re more important to me than you’ll ever know and I wished we didn’t end things back then. I’ve been going to the same old place where we used to go back then, the place where we used to sit and talk and look at the stars and everything there reminds me of you. I’m willing to do anything for you if it means being back with you again. I’m sorry about how things ended.